Happy Birthday, Sprout
by Yuu-chi
Summary: He decided right then and there that if he always felt this at ease with Kanda, he never wanted to give it up.  Allen birthday oneshot  .::.Yullen.::.


**Happy birthday, Sprout**

Lavi had really outdone himself this time.

Allen stared glumly around the spacious room, wincing at the garish and clashing colors that were splattered in what he supposed the redhead that was an artistic way all around him and anything that wasn't moving was decked out with various shades of festive tinsel.

A food and drink table sprawled across the center of the room and a massive Christmas tree hung with gaudy ornaments teetered proudly in the corner as it threatened to topple over on those sitting near it. Allen carefully edged away from it.  
Up-beat remixed Christmas carols belted out of the obnoxiously large speakers and although Allen had only been there for twenty minutes he could feel his head beginning to pound from the sheer _loudness _of the rapidly spiraling out of control Christmas party.

He grimaced and looked down at the glass of eggnog held in his pale hands. He hadn't wanted to come. Not really. Christmas was perhaps his least favorite day in the year and he always managed to drag the life out of it for everyone, and he hated himself for it.

But the redheaded senior was one of his closest friends and had been planning the party for weeks, he had been so looking forward to it that Allen could not in, good conscious, turn down the invite. Allen smiled wistfully as he took a cautious slurp of his cradled beverage. Yes, there were spare few people in the world Allen could admit to being very close to, and the last thing he wanted to do was push his precious friends away.

Even so...

"Allen-chan!"

The loud voice could only belong to one person and he turned just in time to see Lavi push his way through the thick crowd towards him. Allen frowned. Really, he knew Lavi enjoyed big parties but was it necessary to invite _everyone _he'd ever met?

Dressed in a shockingly bright green shirt and red fur trimmed coat that went horribly with his flaming hair, Lavi stopped before the younger teen and offered him a slightly breathless grin as raised his voice to be heard over the music.

"Good turn out, eh?" He shouted and Allen gave a small – and what he knew must be a very pathetic – smile and a nod.  
Immediately Lavi's face fell as he sensed Allen's dispirited enthusiasm. Truly Allen felt awful for it, but he figured he was doing his best to muster up enough excitement to even bother staying.

"Umm... Happy birthday?" Lavi said cautiously after a moment of silence between them and he eyed Allen anxiously to see his response.

Allen could practically feel his face muscles tensing as his smile stiffened and he tried his hardest to move his mouth so his teeth weren't bared in displeasure. "Thank you, Lavi." He said after a brief pause.

"..." Lavi looked awkwardly around, clearly not sure what to say. Although he was one of Allen's best friends, he often found it difficult to know what to do in situations such as this. Christmas was the worst, too. He knew enough to know that it was the anniversary of Allen's fathers death, but every year he insisted on having him over in hopes of brightening his mood somewhat.

Clearly, it was still to work.

Allen cleared his throat and chugged down the rest of his eggnog before looking carefully around. He saw many familiar faces surrounding him, but he couldn't see the one he was searching for.

"Er... Is Kanda coming?" He asked Lavi nervously and the redhead studied Allen with curious eyes for a moment before answering.

"He said he wouldn't," A shrug, "but he might turn up at some point."  
Allen felt like an idiot for even asking. "Er, yes. Thank you. You know, I might duck outside for a moment for some... Fresh air."

Lavi watched him with an intelligent green eye as Allen weaved through the crowd, fighting his way best as he could in the vague direction of the backdoor.

Amidst the crush of hundreds of bodies, Allen could feel himself suffocating. He wasn't normally good with crowds, and even less so when he was feeling as down as he currently was. He needed to be alone for a little bit. He frowned. Alright, maybe that wasn't entirely true. What he really wanted was to see Kanda.

Something interesting caught the attention of the crowd and they suddenly moved away causing Allen to nearly face plant before the glass sliding door. Straightening himself up, the white haired boy stepped through the door and out onto the balcony. He was surprised to see he was the only one out there, so after a moment of thought he shut the blinds and pulled the door closed, effectively shutting it off from the others.

The music instantly dropped down several notches until it was but a weak pulsing and the flashing colors of rented strobe lights cast strange and exotic shades on the hardwood of the deck, making the sudden cool air of the night more attractive.

Allen took a few steps forward and leaned on the railing, watching as smokey clouds drifted by, covering the moon in a haze.

Mana died on a night just like this. Five years ago, today. And it still hurt, the burning lose of the first person who ever gave a damn about him. Cared enough about him to save his life at the cost of his own.

"_You don't have a birthday? Hmm... We can't have that, now can we? Today can be your birthday! The day you became my son." _

If Mana hadn't adopted him, given him a birthday, given him a life... He'd still be alive. And Allen?

_Well, _he thought wryly, _I'd probably be dead by now_.

"So this is where you were, Moyashi?"

Allen whipped around to see Kanda staring sourly at him, bare arms crossed over his chest and his long hair tied lazily at the base of his neck as opposed to its normal high ponytail. Jeans and a dark shirt, he looked anything but festive but Allen noticed with a small inkling of amusement that a few strand of tinsel had worked itself into his dark hair.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Allen said vaguely as he turned to look back over at the sky. He heard a dismissive snort and the sound of creaking wooden planks as Kanda crossed the deck to lean on the rail beside him.

"Like hell I could leave your sorry, pathetic ass on your own today." He countered.

The pair fell into an easy silence and Allen found himself thinking that this was exactly why he liked Kanda's company the most. It didn't matter that they spent half their time arguing and trying to tear each other limb from limb, they fit well together. Kanda knew him well, even better than Lavi or Lenalee, in in return Allen may think himself so bold as to say he knew Kanda best.

"Why did you even come to this fucking party?" Kanda asked as a light breeze tossed a few stray strands of hair across his cheek before he tucked them behind his ear with one long, slender finger.

Allen shrugged. "Didn't want to let Lavi down."

Another snort. "Who cares about that Baka Usagi?"

"I do." Allen rolled his eyes. "You do."

"About as much as I care about global warming." Kanda grimaced to emphasis his point before casting his eyes over at the shorter more depressed looking boy beside him. White hair shifting slightly in the barely-there breeze and silver eyes reflecting the moonlight he thought Allen looked like a scene out of a cliché movie.

"Sprout, it wasn't your fault."

"What wasn't?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Allen fell silent. Five years down the track he could still feel the press of a familiar hand shoving him violently off the road, hear the sharp scream of wheels and most of all the blood choked voice that haunted him with one sentence all through out his sleepless nights.

"_Happy... Birthday... Allen." _

Ever since, he'd never been able to hear that phrase without freezing up. Those words sent chills down his spine.

"It was." Allen murmured as he hunched over and lent his chin on his folded arms resting on the handrail. He could hear Kanda shifting beside him.

"Even if it was," the elder man said dismissively, "you don't have to torture yourself over it."

Allen didn't answer but tilted his head to look up at him. Kanda was, he decided, a very insensitive person who could barely function in normal society. He offended people to easily and had very simplistic views on the world. Everything was black and white for him, there were no shades of gray. And that was part of his charm.

Turning his head back he stared up at the passing clouds and listened to the heavy music pounding from inside and decided right then and there that if he always felt this at ease with Kanda, he never wanted to give it up.

"Kanda?"  
"Che."  
Allen smiled a little bit. "Stay with me out here a while?"

It was silent for a moment and then he heard the shifting of long hair brushing against cloth as Kanda leaned over and rested one hand on Allen's arm, dark locks of hair brushing lightly against his wind chaffed cheeks as Kanda pressed a short, light kiss to his forehead.

Allen smiled slightly and closed his eyes. He could still feel the burning over a palm on his chest, and hear the shriek of brakes, but maybe the the twenty-fifth of December didn't have to be so painful. Maybe, someday far in the future he could look up at the star spotted night sky with a guilt free heart and a close comrade by his side.

"Hey, Kanda?"

"Che."

"... Merry Christmas."

Silence for a second.

"Happy birthday Sprout."

oOo_oOo 

**A/N: This is my depressing, angsty Allen birthday fanfic with cute Yullen fluff :3**

**I'm going to do a separate Yullen Christmas one, so hold out for that but I really wanted to do them as different things.**

**Anyways, review ~ **


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